Edie my darling don’t eat that,
please don’t put it in your mouth.
Don’t lick it or nibble,
flick it or fiddle –
electrical wires are not lunch.
Edie my love please don’t sit there,
lying down in a tantrum won’t do.
This thing’s called a road
and those cars will not slow –
they’ll squish and they’ll flatten you.
Edie sausage don’t climb up there,
that wall is a little bit high.
You scramble then trip,
clamber but slip –
‘cos you’re goofily gazing at sky.
Edie I said do not drink that,
Toilet Duck isn’t your juice.
Same goes for shoe polish,
Ariel and Vanish –
the whole cupboard’s off the menu.
Edie you menace don’t wave that,
I told you that knife’s not a toy.
It’s sharp and it’s pointy
and aiming right at me,
my patience is getting destroyed.
You little bugger I said drop that,
I’ve said stop; no; leave it and quit.
I wail and I plead,
‘til I’m down on my knees –
but the truth is you don’t give a shit.